The Three Jessicas

I would like to follow up on the Ginger vs. Mary Ann post. I understand that today’s version involves the three Jessicas.

Jessica Alba.

Jessica Biel.

Jessica Simpson.

Who would you pick? Although all three would rate very low on Mr. Sensitive’s scale, my selection would be Jessica Alba.

…now if you want to discuss Heather Locklear vs. Heather Thomas.

Marriage vs. Prostitution

I guess that I need to throw my two cents on the Eliot Spitzer affair (pun intended). I’ve never been a big fan of marriage. In fact, I’m convinced that it is nothing more than male slavery (more on that in a later post). But look at it from poor Eliot’s side. He wakes up every morning next to that same plain looking block of wood also known as his wife. You might have seen her standing next to Eliot looking like a hurt puppy while he apologizes for his misdeeds. But think about it for a minute. Could you really see her as someone who straps her freak on in the bedroom?

Didn’t think so.

So Eliot wants a little excitement in his life. He’s tired of looking at the same ragged dishtowel that used to be the hot young babe he fell in love with so long ago. You know that ploy that women use to trap men into marriage. Long, flowing hair. Make up that is perfectly applied. A body that is slender and athletic looking. Wild monkey sex on numerous occasions throughout the week.

Now?

Hair that is short and easy to manage (when she decides to do something with it). Little or no make up which exposes the imperfections, creases, winkles, etc. Ten to fifteen pounds that gets strapped to her ass and thighs every year.

And sex?

Maybe on your birthday.

When she’s in the mood.

Poor Eliot didn’t have a choice. His wife pushed him off that cliff.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m convinced that most married men will cheat on their wives if there is absolutely no chance that they’ll get caught. We can’t help it. It is our divine right to plant our seed in fertile ground. We must have sex otherwise our heads will implode. This basic concept is part of our DNA. Who are you to argue with the evolutionary process?

Eliot did what any normal man (with a shitload of money) would have done under the same circumstances. He just got caught. And every single guy across this country had the exact same thought about Kristin…

…damn she’s hot.