The Top Five Unsexiest Women Alive
Posted by Mr. Sensitive on March 27, 2008
A few months ago, Maxim Magazine came out with a list of unsexy women. In case you missed this, I’ll give you the top five in reverse order:
5) Britney Spears - I may have been in the minority, but I saw this one coming more than a few years ago. Even when she was the flavor of month Disney darling, I could tell that this Louisiana born and bred piece of trailer trash would become a universal eyesore.
4) Madonna - I’ve heard her described as looking like William Defoe suffering from heat flashes. There’s no way I can top that.
3) Sandra Oh - Annually gets my vote as the ugliest lifeform on TV. To describe her as painfully brutal to look at would be a gross understatement. The only way I would fuck this circus freak is if I had to choose between her and…
2) Amy Winehouse - If anyone looks like a scientific experiment gone wrong, it is complete waste of human tissue. I would rather have a rabid wolverine mangle my nutsack than spent an intimate night with this crack whore. In fact, I’ll volunteer to hold the wolverine myself.
Which leads me to the number 1 unsexiest woman on Maxim’s list…
1) Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sarah Jessica Parker? Are you kidding me? What is so unsexy about her. She wears a size 0, for crying out loud. And a size 0 is definitely sexier than a size 2. (Of course a size 2 is definitely sexier than a size 4.) If they were going to pick someone, why didn’t they select some bloated size 8 wearing farm animal?
I can think of plenty of seahags more deserving of the number 1 position. Rosie O’Donnell would be a good start. How about Renee Zellweger? What is your opinion?
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