Should You Marry A Russian Woman?
Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on March 28, 2008
You had to have been living in a Ted Kazinski type hut in the Montana wilderness, without access to television, the Internet, or magazines not to have a pretty good idea that there are a lot of beautiful Russian women. Here’s a bit of an article in slate by Anne Applebaum for those who doubt this:
Where Did All Those Gorgeous Russians Come From?
There was a particular historical moment, round about 1995 or so, when anyone entering a well-appointed drawing room, dining room, or restaurant in London was sure to encounter a beautiful Russian woman. Though the word beautiful doesn’t really capture the phenomenon. The women I’m remembering were extraordinarily, unbelievably, stunningly gorgeous.
http://www.slate.com/id/2182947/
A great many attractive Russian women would like to get married to guys outside Russia. For an interesting movie concerning this, take a look at “Two Brothers and a Bride”. The question is, should you consider dating/marrying one of these women?
When confronted with this topic, American women will, almost to a woman, really, really hate this idea. If you even bring it up in front of one of them, you will usually get one or all of the following responses:
1. The Russian women are only in this to get to the US. They will treat you badly, divorce you, slip you a mickey and cut out one of your kidneys to sell it on the black market, etc.
2. You must want to control one of these docile women. Note that responses one and two here are mutually exclusive. Either the Russian woman is conniving and ruthless or she is a passive victim; she’s unlikely to be both.
3. You must be such a loser that American women wouldn’t date you so you have to get a Russian woman.
As evidence for argument number one, they sometimes point to Lorena Bobbit and some friend of a friend who married a Russian girl. And they often issue a blanket generalization about Russian women (generally without ever having known one).
I’m familiar with these responses because one of my friends dated Russian girls he met online. I would occasionally mention the subject to female acquiantences. That is a mistake I no longer make. In fact, bringing this up to the vast majority of American women is very much like saying to a United Auto Worker’s Union guy, “How about those Honda Accords? They last forever and almost never break down!”
The responses you get are kind of similar, and that’s no accident. The UAW worker doesn’t like to see competition from abroad, and neither does the American woman. If many American guys started dating abroad and marrying these attractive women, then the dating equilibrium here might well shift in guys’ favor.
If these Russian women are indeed great to have as wives, more and more guys will realize that and go this route. There will be fewer guys for American women to date. And the source for these women isn’t just Russia. It’s also Costa Rica, Colombia, the Philipines, and lots of other places.
Of course, that would only happen if most of these foreign women would make good wives. My friend who has tried the Russian route suspects the Russian women, in addition to being very attractive, might treat their husbands better and might be more committed to marriage than American women.
Do you think this is true? I don’t have anything but anecdotal data on these points, but from what I’ve observed it seems as if a lot of American women don’t treat their husbands terribly well. Of course, it goes the other way too. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s unpleasant to be treated badly. And if you can improve your odds of finding a girlfriend or wife who will treat you well, you should probably do so.
I would especially like to hear from those of you who have had experience dating internationally.
March 29, 2008 at 11:44 am
As someone who has corresponded with literally dozens of girls from Russia and Eastern Europe, and actually met and even dated a few, I can unequivocally say that you will definitely date in a pool of more attractive, more intelligent, more physically fit, younger women than you would if you only dated American girls.
There are drawbacks, of course. And there are some scammers and gold-diggers as well. But if you have a reasonable amount of intelligence and remember to keep your BS detector on, you’ll be one of those guys where everyone is wondering “how the heck did he pull a hottie like that?”
Requirements for international dating:
1. Average to above-average income, to pay for international phone calls and quite a bit of travel.
2. A good BS detector. You HAVE to be able to use your head and not get sucked in by a beautiful girl. You will date better looking girls internationally than you will here, no doubt. But don’t be an idiot. If you have a mug that scares children and you have some supermodel chick online saying she adores you and wants to marry you and all you need to do is wire some money to her so she can afford a visa and plane ticket, then it is a scam.
3. Good writing skills. Don’t tell her you’re funny…SHOW her you’re funny. If you can’t write, you will have a hard time.
June 14, 2008 at 12:05 am
Looks like I’m the only one commenting on here, thus far, that is married to a mail order bride
I can tell you that most of what is said on here is correct. First, the entire time that I was dating and waiting on the K-1 Visa for my now wife American women I knew bad mouthed foreign women and men that dated them. It was astounding. I could have brought home a terrorist and got less flak than what I did by dating a mail order bride.
Second, international dating is not cheap. But I’m a 2 in the looks department and she is a 12 so for me the gamble was worth it. Even to this day people look at us and try to fiqure out what the heck she sees in me. As for me I wake up every morning and ask myself the same question as to how I got so lucky.
Third there are con men out there posing as women and I find that men that get taken by these cons are usually the guy that decides he can find a mail order bride on his own and doesn’t need an agency (I used http://LovedbyHer.com ) or the man that decides that women just want him for his citizenship and money. (It seems from my perspective that evil attracts evil in these circumstances).
In my situation I dated women so beautiful I often thought it was a dream before I met my “keeper”. While dating my wife she never ask for a dime, told me outright she would prefer to marry someone from Western Europe because it was closer to her country (Ukraine) and that if I thought money was the most important thing in a relationship she wasn’t interested in me.
Years later I realize what a fool I was to assume that everyone else in the world wanted to come to America. Likewise, foolish is the man that thinks every foreign mail order bride is just after your money. I met NONE that gave me any idea they wanted me for money and I dated dozens over a several year period.