I like to claim that I’ve been single for like five years now, but that is not entirely true. In fact, since my last exclusive relationship ended 60 months ago, I’ve basically almost always had someone I could either call or hang out with, and most likely have sex with as well.
That is certainly not the case right now. The last of my female friends to which I had kept up some form of communication had tired of waiting for me and got herself a boyfriend. It sucks and it doesn’t. Part of me is pissed and jealous and, I’ll admit it, hurt. But another more logical part of me remembers that, hey, I wasn’t all that into her in the first place.
I’m beginning to wonder if I could ever be into anyone anymore. Or if I ever could in the first place. I don’t remember being head-over-heels since high school, and I imagine that really doesn’t count. So does this mean I lack the capability of falling in love? Will I never ever feel “gaga” over a chick?
I tell you, I was feeling a little gaga a few weeks ago when I saw a stunning girl in the bookstore. Dark blonde, nice tan, and a tight body…all a man could want. Problem: she couldn’t have been more than 19 or 20 years old. I hate that. I hate it because I could never have it. Really. I mean, I’m a good-looking guy with a lot to offer, but I am past 35 now. Even if all the planets aligned and she was attracted to older guys and we somehow decided to give a relationship a try…then what? What would we talk about? Britney Spears?
You are probably reading this and saying, “People don’t talk about Britney anymore, you dumb ass. They talk about blah blah blah…” And that is just my point. I have no idea what young people talk about anymore. Talking to a 21-year old girl for any length of time would cause me to put my head in an oven.
So, that leaves me looking for a girl in her late twenties or early thirties that is still attractive, still in good physical shape, still is fun-loving, is not jaded by a bad marriage or bad relationship, of reasonable intelligence, and has good morals and a great sense of humor.
Wish me luck on that.
