I recently watched the TV show “Bridezillas” for the first time. I never watched it before, because I figured it would just contain a boring rundown of brides insisting on all sorts of elaborate wedding plans (ice sculpture, etc.). Also, it was shown on the women’s tv channels (either Oxygen or Lifetime I think; I can’t tell one from the other).
I was wrong. The show was anything but boring. It didn’t dwell much on wedding paraphernalia. It focused entirely on brides’ bad behavior. Really bad behavior. Shockingly bad behavior. In every episode (yeah, it was a marathon; I watched three episodes) the bride treated most everyone around her like crap. The brides treated their mothers horribly, their bridesmaids horribly, their new in-laws horribly, and, most of them treated their fiances (the grooms) especially horribly.
One of these harpies insulted her fiance almost nonstop from the beginning of the show til the end, when he was dutifully opening the car door for her as they were about to depart the reception. A description of her astonishing stamina for doling out humiliating insults is beyond my powers.
She hired a trainer to whip him into shape for the wedding. At least that was the ostensible purpose of the “training”. It seemed to be just another way for her to humiliate her groom. Both of them were obese. I’m not talking 20% overweight; they were morbidly obese. But the fat slug of a Bridezilla was standing over him dishing out insults, much like a slightly feminine drill sergeant, but while holding a donut in her hand and taking bites between insults. I am not making this up.
Part of me thinks the couple might have just put on the whole thing so they could get part of their wedding expenses paid by the show. I don’t actually know whether the show pays the participants for demonstrating their vile personalities on national television.
One Bridezilla, clearly in need of a big, elaborate wedding, stole money from her groom. He asked her whether she had seen a $4,500 check he was expecting she told him in the most matter-of-fact manner that she cashed it because she needed the money for the wedding. And the groom wasn’t a wealthy hedge-fund manager; he was a young mechanic. I’m guessing he needed this money for necessities and didn’t expect to see it blown rental of a vine-laced, latticed arbor for the reception, or something similar that will be blown in a day.
If she blatantly steals her fiances money the week before the wedding, I have a good guess what she will do with the guy’s money after the wedding. I’m guessing the marital finances will turn into “what’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is ours”. Guys, be warned: this philosophy of marital funds is not uncommon.
One Bridezilla erupted in fury at some relatives at the rehearsal dinner, bending down to grab a handful of cake and shoving it all over an older guy’s face (no, this had nothing to do with the noxious custom of a bride and groom shoving wedding cake all over the other person’s face at the reception).
This happened on the night before the wedding. The groom had to be wondering how long it would be before his soon-to-be wife’s maniacal behavior would ever be turned upon him. But if so, he didn’t let it keep him from walking down the aisle and delivering his entire financial well-being to this vicious harridan.
That brings me to the key point of this post. Why would any of these guys ever go forward with the wedding after seeing how truly nasty their fiancees are. It’s clear that some were deluded into thinking these women exhibited such foul temper only because they were in a uniquely pressure-filled situation – a wedding.
This is a rationale that is only credible to one who really wants to believe it or to one who is extraordinarily stupid. I suspect these guys’ minds are clouded by love and they just want to believe this behavior won’t be repeated after the wedding.
All of this defies my hypothesis that women will typically be careful to treat their boyfriends well before the wedding, for fear he will come to his senses and call the marriage off. After the wedding the women realize that the power has shifted. She now has the leverage. If the couple divorce now, a good portion of his money will go with her. Obviously, this doesn’t always apply. A good counter-example is Joan Lunden’s divorce, in which she had to pay her shiftless layabout husband a huge amount of money in alimony. The system rapes whoever has more money. Usually this is the husband, but sometimes it’s the wife.
I recommend that all of you guys take a look at “Bridezillas”. It will be a cautionary tale for the single guys. For the married guys it might cause you to think that some husbands have it worse than you have.
