Research has revealed the 11 secrets of attracting women

 An interesting article in the UK Times discusses the results of a two-year psychological study on the subject of attraction recently published in “Evolutionary Psychology”.

This research concluded that the key to success, for men, is a certain type of wit: self-deprecation. The anthropologist behind the research, was quoted in The Observer, explaining: “The frequent use of self-deprecating humour in sexual context – with potential mates, established mates or sexual rivals – was astonishing … people who used this humour were considered to be more desirable as mates.”  

But the researcher added that if you are not a high-status guy then this self-deprecating humor will backfire.  If you’re rich, charming, and great-looking, self-deprecating humor just means you aren’t egotistical.  The woman can easily see that you have all these qualities.  But if you have none of these qualities, then it just reinforces the fact that you aren’t worth dating.

And now for what you read this post for: the author’s summary of what the research reveals a guy needs to succeed with women.  The article is so good I’ll just quote it:

In other words, to impress, men need to be hugely successful, but pretend that they are not. And this is only one aspect of the almost impossible balance that needs to be struck. Men need to convey sexual desire without sexualising the person in front of them, need to be authoritative, opening doors, paying bills, deciding where to go and so on (recent research found that 60 per cent of women would consider it a bad first date if they paid), yet treat women as absolute equals. They need to flatter without seeming overly impressed, they need to care about their appearance (but not too much), and when it comes to chatting up, they need to take the initiative, and absorb any humiliation that comes their way, without seeming at all arrogant or pushy.

In short, the early stages of hooking up are more fraught with potential disaster than a stroll through the streets of Kandahar, more political than an episode of Question Time, more unpredictable than Gordon Ramsay on ketamine. It’s no surprise that so many men are rendered incoherent and imbecilic by the pressure of it all – and truly some kind of miracle that any relationship manages to begin at all.

I wholeheartedly agree with his last conclusion: it’s a wonder any relationships ever manage to begin.

I think Commenter Kris (by all means read the comments below the article) has a good explanation for much of the difficulty.  He says that women have so many choices that what should be an easy-going talk over a glass of wine has been converted into a job interview.   Most desireable  women insist that a guy meet all of their 23 bullet point list.  If they find during this “job interview” that the guy doesn’t meet points 12, 17, and 22, they will go back to their computers and bring up another batch of hopefuls.  With men heavily outnumbering women on internet dating sites, they always have a surplus of guys wanting to meet them. 

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/article4846940.ece

Do intelligent guys have better sperm?

I came across an interesting article about a recent study that suggests intelligent men generally have greater counts of healthy sperm than less intelligent men.

http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2008/10/do-intelligent-men-have-better.html?DCMP=ILC-hmts&nsref=news2_head_http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsharpscience/2008/10/do-intelligent-men-have-better.html

The article also contains a link to another study that found women wanted smarter guys both for long term relationships and very short-term, physical relationships.  I have some doubts about this conclusion.

Does familiarity breed contempt?

Or at least dislike?  Apparently the answer is, generally, yes.

I skimmed the writeup of a study by the always-interesting Dan Ariely, a behavioral scientist at MIT (for our overseas readers, this is the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, one of the leading universities in the US).

Professor Ariely concluded that, on average, people like other people less as they get to know them more.  This is counterintuitive.  We’re always taught the opposite: that people like each other more as they get to know each other better.  This is true with long-established friendships.  But it apparently isn’t true for most twosomes.

The study focused on couples who had first dates.  On average, the more the two people found out about each other, the less they liked each other.  Professor Ariely theorized, based on previous research, that when we first meet we fill in the blanks about the other person, generally making assumptions that they are fairly similarl to ourselves.  But when we get to know them better we see the dissimilarities with ourselves.

The study also showed that people generally don’t realize how often their initial liking for other people will deteriorate.  This is consistent with my own observation that people seldom realize why they think what they think about other people.

Although people believe that knowing leads to liking, knowing more means liking less.

Another fascinating result was a sex difference: after the first date women’s opinions about the men went down considerably more than men’s opinions about the women.   Women seem to be, on average, harder to please than men.  It makes me wonder how any couples manage to get together and stay together.

http://www.predictablyirrational.com/pdfs/less.pdf

Exotic Italian Sports Cars Get Women Aroused

I came across an article discussing a study that found women were turned on by the sound of luxury performance cars:   

“A study commissioned by a phallically named insurance company proves beyond all doubt that the unbridled roar of an Italian supercar turns women on but the soft purr of a fuel-efficient econobox doesn’t stimulate anyone’s MPG-spot…

subjected 40 men and women to the sounds of a Maserati, Lamborghini and Ferrari, then measured the amount of testosterone in their saliva. He found everyone had higher levels of the stuff — a measure of their arousal — after hearing the revving exotics, but the amount the women had was off the charts…

To test the theory that high-performance cars get people hot, Moxon had 40 men and women  listen to recordings of the three Italian exotics and a Volkswagen Polo. Everyone had significantly more testosterone after hearing the exotics, and all of the women were turned on by the Maserati…

‘We saw significant peaks in the amount of testosterone in the body, particularly in women,’ Maxon says, noting that even women who said they had no interest in cars were turned on. ‘Testosterone is indicative of positive arousal in the human body so we can confidently conclude from the results out today that the roar of a luxury car engine actually does cause a primeval physiological response.’

As for the Polo? Everyone had less testosterone after listening to it. That means the acceleratus interruptus of a Prius going all-electric in traffic is automotive equivalent of skin flicks starring previous secretaries of state, despite General Motors’ claim that nearly nine out of 10 women would rather talk to a guy in a hybrid than a Porsche.”

http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/09/weve-got-some-b.html

It wouldn’t have surprised me to find proof that seeing a luxury performance car made women more attracted to its owner.  Women are, after all, drawn to wealth.  But it was a surprise to find that the mere sound of these cars’ engines made women hot. 

The last part of the excerpt contains an interesting insight. GM claimed nine out of ten women said they would prefer to talk to a guy in a hybrid rather than a guy in a Porsche.  This confirms what I have long surmised: there is a huge gap between what people say they want and what they actually do want.  As psychological researchers say, it’s the difference between stated preferences and revealed preferences (those the person reveals by her action).

It’s like when someone asks women what they want in a guy.  Most women will give a short list that contains contains things such as being sensitive, having a great sense of humor, etc.  But when women pick guys they mostly don’t seem to be looking for these qualities.  They pick guys who are very good-looking, have money, or have game.   What watch they do and not what they say.

The American Girl Dating Quandary

Over the last few years, my dating life has consisted mostly of girls from other countries, especially Eastern European states and Russia. I’ve never made it a specific goal to date or marry a girl from outside the U.S., but it certainly seems appealing.

We’ve posted many blogs on here as to the tremendous advantages of dating girls from Eastern Europe, so I won’t go into listing them again. Just suffice it to say, the quality and selection are WAY better than what you find in the U.S. But I’m having a little bit of a quandary right now. You see, I’ve been chatting-mostly online-with a young American girl for a good two years now. She was unavailable when we first “met”, and we were just friends who would e-mail occasionally. Well, she became available a few months back, and the e-mails became IMs which in turn became flirty text messages and photo exchanges.

Here’s the thing: she is very typically American. By that, I mean she meets a standard that seems to exist for all American girls, and once that standard is met, she has no motivation to be better at anything else.

Let me see if I can make this more clear. First off, she is steel-meltingly hot. She’s a model, and with good reason: she has the body for it. But since she has that aspect going for her, she really doesn’t have to, in the American dating market, have much else going for her. She has, by her own admission:

• Mentioned that she has no idea what she’s doing in the kitchen
• Told me that she already knows she’s a pain in the ass to have as a girlfriend
• Admitted that she knows she lets her emotions get the best of her, making her make irresponsible decisions financially and in relationships
• Has hinted that she feels it’s the man’s responsibility to make good money to support a certain lifestyle

I like her a lot. She’s actually very funny; we make each other laugh all the time. But…and I hate saying this: I know I can do even better than her outside of the U.S. Because in Russia or Estonia or Latvia, there is no “cap” on how good a woman can be. In Latvia, just because you’re gorgeous doesn’t mean you can’t go ahead and learn how to cook a decent meal. In Russia, a knockout hottie still wants a loyal, happy marriage with a man she loves, not a man to fulfill her needs in the “competition among her girlfriends”.

So I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’d still like to fly over to that side of the pond again and meet someone. But, I certainly can’t stop talking to my American hottie. I guess the chips will fall where they may.

Hot Eastern European Woman

Roissy posts a video of a hot Eastern European tv reporter getting a slight wound and going back to do her story, and draws some lessons from the episode:

“You surmise, correctly, that given her grace under pressure after getting shot she has the strength of character to sacrifice for her children and perform her domestic duties without whining or running to a divorce lawyer at the first sign of her husband not ‘meeting her needs’.

How can the modern American woman possibly compete against this? Answer: She can’t. Which is why cuntastic femicunts are feeling the heat and worked hard behind the scenes and out of the public eye to pass into law the misandrist International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, designed to make it more difficult for an American man to meet a foreign woman with a more feminine and pleasant disposition than the average American woman.

I hope American men are reading this and absorbing the lesson. Flights to East Europe are always available. You know what to do. So… what’s stopping you?”

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/08/14/how-not-to-be-an-american-woman

The Astonishingly Beautiful Women of Latvia, Lithuania, and Estonia

A friend of mine grew up in Lithuania, one of the three republics on the coast of the Baltic Sea (the others are Latvia and Estonia).  He came here with his family when he was a child.  He still has a great many relatives in Lithuania. 

One of his cousins came to the US for a month-long vacation, visiting New York City, Chicago, Disney World, and several other places in the US.  After his return to Lithuania he was walking down the street with a friend.  After awhile the friend remarked, “You’re acting like you’ve never seen a woman before.”  He replied, “You don’t understand.  I’ve been in the United States for the last month and I didn’t see nearly as many beautiful women as I do on the streets here.”

I’ve been to New York City, Chicago, and Disney World.  I’d say there are a lot of beautiful women in all three places (especially parts of New York City; there does seem to be a strong connection between beautiful women and money).  It really says something if Vilnius, a city of only 600,000 – 800,000, can compete successfully with these places.

A friend of mine has visited Riga, the capital city of Latvia.  He told me that he passed beautiful women on every block.  I’ve read elsewhere that Estonia also has a huge number of beautiful women. 

Why do these three Baltic nations have such an array of gorgeous women?  And more important, how much does a plane ticket cost? 

I’m back.  Expedia shows a round-trip ticket to Riga costs well over $1,000.

If you believe the travel magazines eco-tourism is growing increasingly popular.  I’m guessing that reading magazine articles about eco-tourism is way, way more popular than actual eco-tourism.  It’s one of those things that sounds a lot more fun than it would actually be.  For every hour spent looking at a beautiful pristine view in a remote rainforest, you’ll spend 28 hours fighting mosquitoes and hoping your anti-malaria meds really do work so you don’t end up sweating the moisture from your body in tropic heat, wondering how you’re going to get the energy to bicycle back to civilization so you can fly home and stay in airconditioned comfort.

But I digress.  The subject at hand is beautiful women, specifically their presence in the three Baltic republics.  I do not understand why US guys aren’t doing online dating with women there and planning their vacations there so they can meet these women.  I know a trip there isn’t cheap, but it would cost less than twenty dinner dates with women in the US. 

Which would you prefer: a relationship with any of the 20 women you meet here in the US or one with a woman you’re likely to meet in Latvia, Lithuania, or Estonia.  It isn’t only their looks that give these women a huge advantage over US women.  It’s the culture of the two countries.  Women here have grown up in the Oprah-fried culture of the US.  Most of them are thinking, “What have you done for me lately?” (see Eddie Murphy’s hilarious bit on this from “Delirious”).

So what are you waiting for?  Stop reading our site, get your credit card, and book your flight to Riga.  And search for Latvian/Lithuanian/Estonian dating sites.

All U.S. adults could be overweight in 40 years

Wow.  It doesn’t surprise me that two-thirds of the US population is now overweight.  I see that every day.  In fact, it is has gotten more and more difficult to find a nonoverweight woman over age 30 to date.  It’s supply and demand. The slender women realize they are in scarce supply.  We guys have a big demand for them.

I say the following as a service to the slender women reading this blog (if there are any).  You should realize how rare and valuable you are.  Don’t even think about settling.  Most of you can hold out for guys who are good-looking, in good shape, and have a good income.  

But back to the point of the article, this trend is frightening.  I’m pretty sure it won’t come true.  If more and more people in the US get fat, there will be an increasing premium in the dating market for people who aren’t fat. People will thus have a tremendous incentive to eat well and exercise. 

And if it does turn out to be true, then people in the US will have an even bigger reason to date overseas.

 

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – If the trends of the past three decades continue, it’s possible that every American adult could be overweight 40 years from now, a government-funded study projects.

The figure might sound alarming, or impossible, but researchers say that even if the actual rate never reaches the 100-percent mark, any upward movement is worrying; two-thirds of the population is already overweight.

… However, she told Reuters Health, the data suggest that if the trends of the past 30 years persist, “that is the direction we’re going.”

Already, she and her colleagues point out, some groups of U.S. adults have extremely high rates of overweight and obesity; among African- American women, for instance, 78 percent are currently overweight or obese.

… Weight problems will be most acute among African-Americans and Mexican- Americans, the study projects. All black women could be overweight by 2034, according to the researchers, as could more than 90 percent of Mexican-American men.

http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSCOL66909620080806?feedType=RSS&feedName=healthNews&rpc=22&sp=true

Advice on ways to date extremely attractive girls

The always-interesting Roissy in DC wrote a post advising guys how to date “out of their league”, improving their chances of meeting a woman who is an 8, 9, or even a 10.  He has a lot of suggestions, but this one ties in with a theory I have:

A former fatty, by dint of her painful past dealing with the cold stares of indifference and sneers of cruelty, will be grounded and grateful for male attention. A former fatty’s mindset is still that of the fat girl she left behind – the mind changes slower than the body. The time to strike is when her memories are strong and her reconstructed body is tight. The fatter a former fatty was, the more appreciative she will be of your romantic interest … Caution: The longer a former fatty is skinny, the more her soul will twist into the corrupted spectre of a self-absorbed egomaniac princess.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/

I think he has a great point.  A woman seems to develop a self-image regarding her appearance.  If she is hot, she develops the hot self-image and she will almost always be harder to meet, and harder to deal with generally.   As the pickup artists would say, you’ve got to have serious game to get past her defenses and go out with her. 

I’ve noticed that women who were once hot but whose appearance has gone downhill with age often still have quite a bit of the hot-girl attitude.  I know one woman who was very attractive and popular for decades, but then gained fifty pounds within a year or so.  She still acted like she was extremely hot and guys should still be drawn to her like crazy. 

In a different section of the post linked to above, Roissy addresses women who are over a certain age.  He says they eventually become convinced that their appeal has diminished considerably and stop acting like 9s or 10s.  

One a side note: the worst situation is where you meet a young, hot girl, marry her, and then her appearance goes downhill but she still has the hard-to-deal-with hot girl attitude.   

Roissy advises guys to take advantage of the situation where this trend goes in reverse: the woman was once unattractive but is now very attractive.

Have You Ever Noticed…

…that women who are strongly opposed to pornography aren’t ones whom men want to have sex with in the first place?