Unfiltered: The Real Dirt Inside Men’s Minds

The real, unfiltered, politically incorrect truth about what men think

Young people want good-looking mates; their parents want them to have mates from the same social class

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on June 4, 2008

Three psychologists in The Netherlands just published the results of a study on how young people’s preferences differed from their parents’ preferences on finding mates.   The work, recently published in the Review of General Psychology, involved interviewing Dutch, American, and Kurdish young people and parents. 

Not surprisingly, the young people wanted attractive mates while their parents mainly wanted the kids to have mates from similar social classes and groups: 

… young people invariably considered the potential mate’s attractiveness the most important quality, whereas parents uniformly paid more attention to the suitors’ social background or group affiliation…

http://www2.journalnow.com/content/2008/may/15/checking-mates/?living

There’s no great surprise in these findings.  It has been thoroughly proven that people who are dating and picking partners, both male and female, almost always want good-looking partners.  For a review of the evidence for this proposition, see almost any of my posts on online dating and speed dating.

 

 

Posted in Marriage, Relationships, dating | Tagged: | No Comments »

Male hosts with Rod Stewart hair, tight suits and jewelry

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on June 4, 2008

I read about a fairly new phenomenon in Tokyo called male host clubs, where women buy expensive drinks so they can talk to young men.  It seems sort of comparable to guys going to strip clubs and buying the dancers expensive drinks for the privilege of chatting with the dancers at their tables:

… male host clubs, the newly booming pleasure dens where women buy expensive drinks for the privilege of chatting with young men. The men are unmistakable in Kabukicho with their Rod Stewart hair, tight suits and jewelry. “The surprising thing is that the top earners are not the guys you’d expect,” Arias says. “They’re not the best-looking guys. They’re the best talkers.”

http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-tokyo06-2008jun01,0,5903053.story?page=2

It’s interesting that the guys who make the most money at these clubs are not the best looking guys but the guys who can talk well (assuming this guy’s observation is correct).  I kind of doubt the same earning dynamic works for (female) strippers.  But then again, guys are highly visual. 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | No Comments »

Toxic Wives

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on June 2, 2008

I came across an interesting article in England’s Daily Telegraph.  It’s about toxic wives.  Here are some of the interesting tidbits, but the link to the article is below.  As you’re reading keep in mind that the currency the author is writing about, the British pound, is worth about $2 US Dollars:

You may not know one personally, but you will certainly have read about them. They are, increasingly these days, the figures who emerge triumphant from the divorce courts. They are the ones who get to keep the house (no mortgage), the cars (usually more than one), the staff (approaching double figures) and, more often than not, half the husband’s fortune, regardless of what she has done to contribute towards it…

She is the woman who gives up work as soon as she marries, ostensibly to create a stable home environment for any children that might come along, but who then employs large numbers of staff to do all the domestic work she promised to undertake, leaving her with little to do all day except shop, lunch, luxuriate. Believe me, there is no shortage of the breed and I’ve been inundated with horror tales about them.

There is, for example, the TW who made around £30 million from only four years of marriage. Her husband couldn’t stand the way she was abusive to his staff, aggressive towards him and extravagantly indulgent with herself.

Then, there’s the ex-wife of a friend of mine, Belinda, who has been awarded several million pounds for a marriage that lasted less than three years and produced no children. The sum amounts to almost £5,000 for every day of marriage. No wonder her ex-husband, let’s call him Crispin, a City financier, is in despair. After reading the article he told me: ”Giving her £5 million for doing absolutely nothing except shop and lunch makes me question the sanity of our legal system.”

… Soon after their wedding, Belinda gave up work to care for the house. ”At first, I couldn’t understand why, because we had a cleaner who cleaned, a gardener who gardened and home cooking was provided by M&S,” says Crispin. ”Overnight she changed.

“Friends were no longer allowed to drop in like they used to - at least a week’s notice had to be given. Shoes had to be taken off at the front door. She became nagging, scolding, overbearing and shrewish. She made my life a misery. It pains me that this able-bodied, 40-year-old woman will be handsomely rewarded for the rest of her life - all at my expense. I feel as though I’m the victim of legally sanctioned burglary.”

Capturing a rich husband is seen as a legitimate career choice in itself. A 25-year-old banker friend told me that many girls don’t even bother getting a job after university - they stay on the party circuit until they’ve trapped their milch-cow.

”Just turn up at Mahiki, (the London nightclub frequented by Princes William and Harry) and you’ll find an army of potential TWs… they’re like a gang of seductive, pretty vampires who are sharpening their talons and teeth in a bid to catch a rich husband and then suck him dry of his hard-earned cash. It’s common knowledge now that one of the most lucrative careers a woman can have is to get married, have a child, and get divorced.”

…Believe me, there is a completely different species out there. They may look human, in an artificially manufactured way, but they don’t seem tohave any conscience or interest in anything other than the trivial minutiae of their own existence and, naturally, how to hitch themselves to an alpha-male…

HOW TO SPOT A TOXIC WIFE

1 Women who are secure in themselves and have a more developed emotional intelligence and personal depth do not feel the need to show off. Check whether or not she is festooned with ‘designer’ accessories. Listen carefully to what she says. How often does she name-drop?

2 On first acquaintance, she will want to find out if you’re rich or not. If you find yourself discussing your assets within the first 10 minutes you know her agenda. She is not going to waste time on you if you don’t have serious money.

3 She will flirt without first finding out if you’re married or involved with someone else. She has no scruples about stealing another woman’s man.

4 Even though she may have an impressive job, her main asset is sex. She will come on in a highly provocative manner, be wearing lots of make-up and revealing clothes. Potential toxic wives are extremely clever. Do not equate intelligence with emotional values and worth.

5 Often she will use the FSFM tactic (feel sorry for me). This will manifest itself on the second or third date. She wants to assess how generous you can be and will tell you how ”naïve” she is and how “misled” by some nasty people she owes money to. As a chivalrous male, you get out your chequebook.

6 You must find out how motivated she is. Ask her what her future goals, dreams and aspirations are.

7 Toxic gold-diggers tend to target older men. And your level of physical attractiveness makes no difference. Do you genuinely wildly arouse her or is this all an act?

8 She will choose the most expensive item on the menu or the most expensive drink.

9 Men, who have been recently widowed or divorced are great prey. You are at your most vulnerable.

10 Before you marry, go on holiday together or spend at least some time co-habiting. Remember, if you make a mistake you will pay for it for the rest of your life.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml?xml=/portal/2007/03/02/nosplit/fttoxic102.xml

Posted in Marriage | Tagged: , | No Comments »

Women divorces husband, gets money, then many years later is allowed to go back in and extract more money from ex-husband

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on May 30, 2008

Christian Schneider at Overlawyered reports a truly mind-boggling result from an English court.  A man’s wife left him 30 years ago and they were divorced in 1981.  He paid her a settlement then but she later lost the money.  She sues her ex-husband to get more money and wins:

British businessman Dennis North’s wife Jean left him 30 years ago after she began seeing another man. Their split became official in 1981, when they signed an agreement that granted Jean their house and income from rents on their various properties.

North went on to be a wildly successful businessman, while his ex-wife never worked. However, a judge has just ordered North to pay Jean a large lump-sum payment because she has “fallen on hard times” due to a number of money-losing investments:

Mr North, 70, has been ordered by a court to hand her another £202,000 (that’s $400,000 US dollars and about 257,000 Euros).

The order follows a series of big-money divorce cases which have swung the law against husbands and resulted in huge payments to ex-wives even after short childless marriages. The North case now threatens to make husbands pay large sums even decades after a split.

http://overlawyered.com/2007/06/large-payment-awarded-after-30-years-of-divorce/

It appears that English courts are now even more hostile to men than even US courts (to be fair, courts in the US vary from state to state; some are harsher toward men than others).

Posted in Marriage | Tagged: | No Comments »

Not the way to keep your wife from getting half of your lottery winnings

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on May 30, 2008

Walter Olson at Overlawyered discusses a husband’s ineffective method of keeping his wife from finding out he won a share of a big lottery payoff:

Airline mechanic Arnim Ramdass, 52, allegedly “disconnected the phone line at home and forbade his stay-at-home wife, Donna Campbell, 48, to watch television, Campbell claims in a lawsuit. Eventually, however, she learned the truth: Ramdass, along with 16 other mechanics at Miami International Airport, had won a $19 million lottery jackpot.” (Martha Neil, “Wife Sues Husband for Share of Secret $600K Lottery Win”, ABA Journal, May 13).

Hat tip: http://overlawyered.com/tag/family-law/

The wife sued the husband for divorce soon after she discovered all this.

Posted in Marriage | Tagged: , | No Comments »

Complaint about the women’s restroom

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on May 29, 2008

Why is this guy famous?Because she is not a guy but a woman and she was asked to leave the women’s restroom in a restaurant.  Another female patron of the restaurant complained to the restaurant management that a guy was in the women’s restroom, and the bouncer, understandably believing to be a woman, asked her to leave.

Hat tip: http://nicedeb.wordpress.com/2008/05/15/i-would-have-made-the-same-mistake/

News story: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2007/06/30/2007-06-30_lesbian_riled_by_boot_from_ladies_room-2.html

 It was an unfortunate, but understandable, mistake.  It should all have been settled with an apology and a free meal on the restaurant.  But several high profile lawyers volunteered to represent the woman at no cost to her.  They filed suit.  The restaurant had to pay lawyers to defend it and eventually settled the case by paying the woman $35,000 and her attorneys $15,000.

http://overlawyered.com/tag/sued-if-you-do/

 

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

The old red pepper up the anus trick

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on May 28, 2008

I was scanning an interesting piece by an anthropologist on cockfighting in Bali and the following jumped out at me.  Wow, that’s gotta hurt:

Red pepper is stuffed down their beaks and up

their anuses to give them spirit.

http://www.si.umich.edu/~rfrost/courses/MatCult/content/Geertz.pdf

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Really, Truly, Totally Single

Posted by Mr. Practical on May 27, 2008

I like to claim that I’ve been single for like five years now, but that is not entirely true. In fact, since my last exclusive relationship ended 60 months ago, I’ve basically almost always had someone I could either call or hang out with, and most likely have sex with as well.

That is certainly not the case right now. The last of my female friends to which I had kept up some form of communication had tired of waiting for me and got herself a boyfriend. It sucks and it doesn’t. Part of me is pissed and jealous and, I’ll admit it, hurt. But another more logical part of me remembers that, hey, I wasn’t all that into her in the first place.

I’m beginning to wonder if I could ever be into anyone anymore. Or if I ever could in the first place. I don’t remember being head-over-heels since high school, and I imagine that really doesn’t count. So does this mean I lack the capability of falling in love? Will I never ever feel “gaga” over a chick?

I tell you, I was feeling a little gaga a few weeks ago when I saw a stunning girl in the bookstore. Dark blonde, nice tan, and a tight body…all a man could want. Problem: she couldn’t have been more than 19 or 20 years old. I hate that. I hate it because I could never have it. Really. I mean, I’m a good-looking guy with a lot to offer, but I am past 35 now. Even if all the planets aligned and she was attracted to older guys and we somehow decided to give a relationship a try…then what? What would we talk about? Britney Spears?

You are probably reading this and saying, “People don’t talk about Britney anymore, you dumb ass. They talk about blah blah blah…” And that is just my point. I have no idea what young people talk about anymore. Talking to a 21-year old girl for any length of time would cause me to put my head in an oven.

So, that leaves me looking for a girl in her late twenties or early thirties that is still attractive, still in good physical shape, still is fun-loving, is not jaded by a bad marriage or bad relationship, of reasonable intelligence, and has good morals and a great sense of humor.

Wish me luck on that.

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Allergic to semen!

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on May 27, 2008

That Saddity Chick relates an interesting story on her blog:

I’ll let you all in on a little secret.  A few years ago I was seeing this man.  For almost a year I put off having sex with him.  I couldn’t explain why but my body was just like “nu-uh don’t do it girl”.  He was attractive, fun, attentive, just an all around great guy.  Finally after not listening to my gut feeling I slept with him.  The next morning my vajayjay was on fire!  I thought he had given me an STD.  Turns out I was allergic to his semen! 

http://thatsadditychic.wordpress.com/

I had no idea that a guy’s semen could generate an allergic reaction.  But her post caused me to wonder about something else: is it common for a woman to be dating a guy for almost a year without having sex with him?

Posted in Hot Babes, Sex, dating | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

I’m shocked that this painting sold for $33.6 Million

Posted by Mr. Thoughtful on May 27, 2008

I am astounded that this painting sold for 33.6 Million dollars.

Benefits Supervisor Sleeping

Benefits Supervisor Sleeping, Christie’s Images Ltd., 2008

Hat tip: Annika at http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/23/what-does-336-million-mean-in-the-art-world/#more-2644

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | No Comments »